I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
