Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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