Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
