I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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