I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize