The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
