Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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