It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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