Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
