So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
4 words: hood of his car
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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