is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
