he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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