he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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