More tranny stories later!
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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