How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
