she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
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