Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
