Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
