It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
