he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
