are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
