And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I had to cum in my sink.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
