For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
