I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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