i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
