Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
