I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
