I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Lo siento on account of my penis...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
