oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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