I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I queefed so loud it echoed.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
