maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
