nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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