i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
