I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
