dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just high enough for therapy.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
