He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
