Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
