I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
