I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
How's work?
Spinning.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize