my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
