She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize