Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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