i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
