i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
