His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize