Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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