Having a random hookup so left but love u
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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