Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize