At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
