She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
