I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
