Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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