u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
operation have a gay friend backfired
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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