I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
