Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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