I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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