No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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