haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
