Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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