when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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