I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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