They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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