once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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